The Battle For
The War On Iraq

 

INT. NIGHT. THE OFFICE OF THE ATTORNEY GENERAL

ATTORNEY GENERAL Oh, Miss Wilmslow. I...I'm just on my way out, actually. Important meeting with the Prime...the primary school teacher. The primary school teacher who is, who has been threatened with deportation. Just because she's Iraqi! Irani, I mean. Iranian. Iranian. Disgrace, absolute...flipping disgrace. Now, if you'll excuse me...

MISS WILMSLOW Oh, Attorney General! Such alarums and turbulence in Ye Foreign Office I have ne'er seen! Strange news flies abroad that your advice is to be...to be amended, sire! Gainsay this monstrous calumny, I beseech thee. Most heartily!

ATTORNEY GENERAL (Sighing) Miss Wilmslow. I assure you. There were six key points yesterday. And there are six key points today. Now, if you'll just excuse me... MISS WILMSLOW I fain would know, sire. Do these most commendable and worthy six points press still on our Sovereign Right of Access to Arabia? All nations of ye world are in tantrum, my Lord!

MISS WILMSLOW Your visage becomes pale, my Lord! ATTORNEY GENERAL I fear...I fear, Miss Wilmslow...I may have erred. Though when exactly is for history, and my memoirs, to judge. Yet what more can we do, Miss Wilmslow, but judge? In confidence, Miss Wilmslow. In secret.

MISS WILMSLOW My Lord, thou art gay! Thou fancieth Tony Blair!   ATTORNEY GENERAL That is untrue, Miss Wilmslow. I am a man of honour. And as straight as they come. I would never desert you. Or my wife. Now, my darling, hither and encourage my massive injunction...