The IRA leadership has also authorised our representative to engage with Endemol UK to explore the opportunities inherent in the completion of the process to verifiably put its arms beyond use in a way which will further enhance public confidence as a fly-on-the-wall documentary, with plenty of surprises in store.

We have invited the Protestant and Catholic churches each to nominate an independent witness. They will be auditioned head-to-head, in Gaelic.

The Army Council of Oglaigh na hEimeann hOglmes took these decisions following an unprecedented customer survey of IRA units and Volunteers via text, SMS and word o' mouth.

We appreciate the honest and forthright way in which the consultation process was carried out. Cheers. We would also like to thank the Lady Members of Oglaigh na hEimeann hOglmes for refreshments provided throughout the consultation process.

These decisions and refreshments have been taken to advance our republican and democratic objectives, including our goal of a united Ireland in extra time but without the penalty shoot-out. We believe there is now an alternative way to end British rule in our country. It is the responsibility of all Volunteers to show leadership, though not all at the same time, of course, as some Volunteers will for now be required to show followership.

We are very mindful of the sacrifices of our patriot dead, those who went to jail, Volunteers, them on the blanket, the Kennedys, Frank Sinatra, premium subscribers in New York, B*witched, the Libyan boys and everyone at the Vatican.

We reiterate our view that the armed struggle was entirely legitimate, with valid documents and the insurance paid up. We are conscious that many people suffered in the conflict. But we are also unconscious that many didn't suffer, anny way, so.

There is now a vital and compelling imperative centred around all sides to build a just and lasting peace. We call for everybody concerned to move forward, to the goals of Irish unity and independence outlined in the 1916 Proclamation.