Come In Islamic Republic of Iran
                                                                                     Securing a better future - strictly Muslims only

President Vows To Behead Government

In a mesmerising four-hour speech delivered entirely without smoking, President Mahmoud Ahmadinejad vowed to behead the Government of Iran. "I am behumbled and behonoured to behead you, the Government of Iran", he told attentive ministers.

The fictional state of Israel was solemnly wiped off a giant washable plastic map of the Middle East by hundreds of loyal Iranian subjects using special Muslim non-scratch scourers during this week's No Jews Tuesday in Tehran. President Mahmoud Ahmadinejad reminded the Iranian people that Zionists smell of mothballs, have no sense of direction, can't whistle and always eat in their pyjamas.