Nobby the Northern Dinosaur
Receptionist Looks Flipping Smart In Her Ironed Blouse
Hello! You all right? Nobby the Northern Dinosaur here, back with more Common Sense and Advice from my Wigan Casino which Comes To You From Out Patients.
I've told you until I'm Blue in the Blasted Face: I HAVE NOT GOT FLIPPING CANCER OF THE DOWNSTAIRS. I keep explaining to the Flipping Doctors, Nogs, Pakis Whatever, Obviously No Flipping Clue, probably just a Touch Of Rheumatism.
Saw Consultant earlier (Black as the Ace of Spades) who Right Off started talking Foreign Medical. Thought I heard Tumour mentioned, though may have been Tuna. They want to Stop Fiddling About with my Bottom and get me a Proper Hearing Aid.
I told him: You go Chief Witchdoctor. Tell him Massa Nobby Wantum Pills, Quicky-Quicky. Go White Man's Pub, get Pint. Imshi, imshi! He looked at me like I was Flipping Mad.
After Half an Hour of No-Smoking hanging about - usual bunch, Lepers, Cripples, Gay Folk with AIDS and a Young Receptionist who I must say looked Flipping Smart in her Ironed Blouse - I finally get This Week's Pills.
One Lot for the so-called Cancer (Avoid Alcohol). Another Lot for the so-called Alzheimer's (May Result In Loss Of Libido And Diminished Swearing).
I'm not as Young as I used to be, but if I had a Pound for Every Time I'm supposed to have had a Flipping Tidy Sum, I'd have Alzheimer's. Common Flipping Sense, that's the only Chart I Need.
You don't have to Answer this Right Away, but has the Whole Flipping World Gone Blessed Mad? Oh, aye, that Mary Archer's all right. While her Flipping Clot of a Husband's Banged Up, I don't mind Coming Round and Doing her Windows.
I hope that's been of some help. Cheerio!
Cheerio!
