Nobby the Northern Dinosaur
I Might Just As Well Have Been Talking To My Fucking Self
Hello! You all right? Nobby the Northern Dinosaur here. Off The Diminished Fucking Swearing Pills!
Off the...the Other Ones, likewise. Lump in Arse still only Size of a Small Arse, so Plenty of Room.
Nice to know People want to make a Fuss over you, like. I don't know, in the Pub say, with your Mates, and they all Notice you've Pissed Yourself. We would have had a Right Fucking Laugh about it later, that's for sure, if they Hadn't Left.
My so-called Cancer means I come in for a bit of Good Old-Fashioned Northern Knockabout Humour from Fucking Lads. One Lump Or Two, Nobby? they say.
Don't Eat That Fucking Pie, you Sad Fucker, It Could Be Arsenogenic. Or Pull The Other One Nobby - It Might Have Cancer. You've got to Laugh.
I'm not talking to 'no' more Asian Doctors about This Whole Business. It's just Ridiculous, what do They Know? I Happened to Mention Poldark the other Day, Missus used to Like That - and just got this Blank Stare. Hello, Gunga Din?
Antiques Roadshow? Countdown? Look North? Columbo? Are you Having Me On? I might just as well have been Talking To My Fucking Self.
I have Smoked all my Fucking Life, but you see what I'm Getting At. What the Fuck has that got to do with my Arse? Not Sense. Not Common Sense. You see what I'm Getting At.
They're over here with their Fucking Medical Certificates through the Channel Tunnel, telling Me I've got Cancer! Glasses more often and you Wouldn't Trust Them. They look like Out Of An Advert, or a Porn Video.
If I Ruled the World, I would get someone to Digitally Remaster all Jimi Hendrix stuff, but Erasing Every Fucking Bass Guitar Note played by that CUNT Noel Redding.
June Whitfield - I wouldn't mind Making A Fuss Over Her!
Must rest.
I hope that's been of some help. Cheerio!
