Nobby the Northern Dinosaur
Asylum Seekers: I Don't Mind The Whores, But...
Hello! You all right? Nobby the Northern Dinosaur here, offering Common Sense Solutions in a World that's gone Fucking Mad.
Problems in the Last Century were Mostly Medical: My Lungs are Fucked Up with Asbestos, what should I do? Answer, breathe through your Nose, this will take the Air out of Harm's Way.
Now it's Drivel such as: 'I'm Overweight. My wife won't cut down on the Cholestorol in her Cooking, despite My Heart. Ooh, I'm feeling a Bit Wobbly Like. Ooh, she won't let me Associate With The Lads any more'.
My Advice is stop wasting my Fucking Time. You're sat there like some Handicapped Fucking Kiddie while she spoons a Big Portion Right Into your Fat Fucking Face? Thick Gay Fuck. Who wears The Trousers? Oh aye, and who wears The Fucking Pantyhose?
That's why she doesn't want you Going Out - or should I say Coming Out - with The Lads. It's just Common Fucking Sense. In My Day the wife knew her Place like the Back of your Hand. Try watching more War Films and Smacking Her One occasionally.
Aroma Fuckingtherapy, is that it? What is the Point, getting in Touch with your so-called Feminine Side, unless it's got a Fanny you can reach? When I Were Courting, only Weepy Film your bird got to see were if you had a bit of Trouble Downstairs!
Asylum Seekers: I don't mind the Whores, but I Draw the Line at having their Fucking Families over here as well.
Some people think they're the Only Ones with Problems. They're Fucking Not. After a Heavy Night, my shit smells of Liver. I tell Myself it's Not Serious, and I would definitely Back My Own Common Sense. If that's not Fucking Common Sense, I don't know what is.
My Top Five People At The Moment That I Like:
1. The Revd. Ian Paisley.
2. The Lad Manning.
3. Mugabe Bodyguards (ideally, smack Poofs and not be Black).
4. Pauline Fowler.
5. Charlotte Church as she was a few Years Ago when a Child Singing Star, but with like Big Fucking Tits.
I hope that's been of some help. Cheerio!
