Nobby the Northern Dinosaur
Still Sore Downstairs
Hello! You all right? Nobby the Northern Dinosaur here, back on feet and taking each day at time. See that old Sean Connery yesterday? Pussy Something.
Doctor's been. Obviously Too Early To Tell but quite pleased, though he's Asian, and they tend to keep their Thoughts to themselves at the Best of Times.
There's some Good News, he said, and some Bad News. Which do you want First? Now I'm from Wigan. Up here we like what we're Used To, for Preference.
'Bad News. I'll have that.'
'Well, the Bad News is that we may not have got all the Cancer...'
I stopped him right there: 'So-called Cancer...'
Agreed. 'The Bad News is that we may not have got all the so-called Cancer, so it may be some Time before we can Speculate about Remission'.
'How do you mean?' I asked. Best to be sure.
'We don't know yet if the so-called Cancer will spread again'.
But the Good News, suffice it to say, is I haven't got Alzheimer's, so I can come off Yellow Pills.
Likely to be Some Time before Swearing and Intolerance return to normal levels, consultant said, but Best Guess (so-called Cancer permitting): Should be my Old Self around Springtime next year.
Say Late April, when Blossom's thick and Air smells of New Cars and Proper Records and that Ironing Smell I remember, and Lasses have sensible Blouses on, full...full of Life. Fucking - ow! - excellent!
Still sore Downstairs. Not to go mad with Exercising or owt, so this morning, I thought: Have Sensible Breakfast.
What are F-F-F-Faggot Goujons? Home Help got them.
War. Oh aye, I've lived long enough to see more World Wars and Stupidity than most People. Enough is Enough. Folk make it up for the Camera, half the time.
It's nice to see everyone pulling together though, even your Micks and your fucking dwarf Arab Nasser Barraclough - ow! - and the Gyppos, they must be all right these days as we hear Nothing Of Them.
Widescreen Stan is all for the Coalition, or it might be Syndicate. Finest Adult Selection Will Not Be Silenced By Terrorism is his Brave Boast above the counter.
We were Evacuated as Children, though not to Pakistan. It was Bad, and no Kiddie should go through it. I blame the Parent, usually the Mother.
I've still got a Gas Mask somewhere. Though something may have Perished after all this Time.
I hope that's been of some Help. Cheerio!
