Nobby the Northern Dinosaur
Remembrance Day
Hello! You all right? Nobby the Northern Dinosaur here. Out Patients, waiting for latest Results.
Christmas soon enough, though it's never what they Make It Out to be. I am wearing my Poppy with Pride, and also so I don't get battered, as in Wigan anyone not wearing a Poppy is now made out to be an Islam.
Guy Fawkes went off OK, there was a Display over the Recreation Ground, though what with all the fuss Folk make these days - stand well back, don't throw them about etc - Tony Blair and the rest of the London-based Gay People might as well ban them altogether.
In my day Fireworks were Fireworks. Proper Roman Candles that'd take a Handicapped Kiddie's Eye out if you pointed it at her by Mistake, not that I was proud of myself.
Rockets you could Sellotape budgerigars to. Big fucking Bangers that'd barely fit up a Cat's Arse.
These days, of course, the Young People have forgotten what Remembrance Day's all about. Let's We Forget, that's their Fucking Motto.
Minute's Silence? You'll be lucky if they even turn the Car Radio down, especially the Black Ones in America, though over there Remembrance Day is not November 11, it's a couple of Months earlier apparently.
We remember all Those who Gave their Lives in World Wars, but especially World War One because it was the Most Fucking Horrible, with Trenches and Rats eating the faces of The Dead, lips first, and thousands of Lads meeting their Death in a Single Afternoon.
War now, it's all too Commercialised. On Telly. Adverts for the News. Plus, where are the Fucking Germans? I've seen some Asian lads wearing the Hats, they seem to be All The Rage.
Cancer still in Remission, though the Alzheimer's is Back With A Vengeance, the Conductor said. Out of Nappies now except for Overnight, at least that Saves my Blushes at Club. The Lads don't mean to be cruel, it's just Their Way of drawing Attention to my Nappies.
Widescreen Stan says the War will be over by Christmas, and in any case it's not Like it Was. Fourteen, Fifteen year olds pretending they're Older, signing up, getting shot to Fucking Bits or Gassed. Not on Our Side, anyway.
I hope that's been of some help. Cheerio!
