Nobby the Northern Dinosaur
Submarines were new to us, never mind seeing a Banana
Hello! You all right? Nobby the Northern Dinosaur here. Don't mention the C-Word!
Not Cunt - ow! - though now they've got me back on Pills for so-called Cancer of the Arse, it hurts when I swear. Just when I thought I'd got over that particular Flipping Hurdle.
Not that I'd trust the Consultant to know his Rear End from a Hole in the Ground. Oh aye, Asian, so will be highly delighted, I'm sure, to hear about the latest flipping NHS Handouts from Harold Wilson and his Crew.
Perhaps more of his Coloured Friends will come over here, looking for a Cushy Number in Emergency or Surgical. Wearing fucking Stethoscopes - ow! - round their Necks like they invented them!
No way, Gunga Din. Every bit of Equipment in that Hospital was invented by the Northern English, except the X-Ray Machine, which is Scottish.
The only things Asian folk have invented include shitting anywhere but in a Proper Toilet and a Single Decker Bus that can carry 150 People.
No, the C-Word I mean is Christmas. It's not just a question of Plans falling through, it's the whole Principle of the Thing. Christmas isn't Christmas any more as it has been ruined by Modern Life.
You've got your HIV-type vicars banning Xmas because it's too Commercialised. Not to mention ITV's plans for the fucking so-called Festive Season. A Cartoon version of Fucking Mr Bean? Fucking Ouch!
Christmas? For me it will be just another Day. People don't realise. In the Old Times you got Proper Songs by Groups such as the Honeycombs. Have I the Right to Hold You? Don't ask him love, he's Gay.
Submarines were new to us, never mind seeing a Banana.
Bobbies on the Beat, that's the Solution. Never mind your Fucking Helicopters - ow!
Bobbies on the Beat, and Gas Chambers for the Kiddie-fancying Brigade. People say it's harsh, but they Wouldn't Do It Again.
Young People. Don't know. Older I get, younger they seem. Nice tits, though the Drugs make it right Hard Work even when you're awake. It's a Mixed Ward, but we all make out like that it's not a Problem. I don't mind the Going Under, but I'm scared of waking up in the Night when it's quiet.
I hope that's been of some help. Cheerio!
