Nobby the Northern Dinosaur
Shove Your New Weather Up Your Arse
Hello! You all right? Nobby the Northern Dinosaur here, Back Once Again with the Old Behaviour...Fuck, it's Pissing Down again.
Three Things on my Mind. Practising Homosexuals (suggestion: Try A Bit Fucking Harder To Stay In London), Practising Asians (suggestion: Don't Come Over Here Stinking Out MY Corner Shop With Your Fucking Joss Sticks) and so-called Global Warming.
As someone who has lived in The North All My Life, I can Assure You that, despite CAREFUL FUCKING MONITORING of Weather Up Here we haven't had a Decent Summer since 19 Fucking 76 - and Proud Of It!
Let's Face Facts. The Reason Mr Blair is So Keen on Global Warming is he'll be able to take his Mediterranean Holiday in Macclesfield, which Of Course is Much Fucking Cheaper.
Message to Mr Blair and the Rest of his Pancake-Eating Nonces: SHOVE YOUR NEW WEATHER UP YOUR ARSE. I still Remember when Old Labour Took Our Fog - don't let New Labour Take Our Sky.
The Sky wants to be Steady, Low, and FUCKING GREY. Not Lesbian Blue.
Of course, The North is a Big Place. Weather can Vary from Region to Region. Some of it, in Coastal Areas for example, can trigger Sewerage Knock-On Effects that are Truly Fucking Gruesome. Not Many Blacks in the Lake District, and so on. It's just Common Fucking Sense.
My Home Town Wigan, where I Settled Down, is Not Far from Liverpool, yet they're Chalk and Cheese. Wigan will Steal Your Heart, but Liverpool will just Have Your Fucking Car Radio Away And Then Grass You Up To The Mafia If You Batter Them.
Here are my People of the Week:
· Margaret Thatcher. If Dennis isn't up to it any more, I'm more than Happy to give you the Benefit of MY Doubt, ma'am!
· Great Apes. Facing Extinction soon and Good Fucking Riddance!
· Princess Margaret. Sex on Wheels, a tragic Loss.
· Ian Paisley. Sound and Loud!
· Plus I wouldn't mind giving that Cherie Blair One - 'First Class Post!'
I hope that's been of some help. Cheerio!
