YOUSE CHOOSE BA RESIGNATIUH I have had a wonderful time working for the BBC, and am very proud of the shows I have made my lustrous helmet of frozen hair-music my anecdotal erections . Over the last two weeks minutes on Twitter, with exclamation marks power lunches with thin, cruel-mouthed sycophants I have decided not to re-negotiate when my current contract comes to an end apart like a bloated corpse in a cement mixer har har I said ‘comes’ . I have worked with some of the nicest and most talented fuckable giggly people in the industry and had the opportunity to talk to some of the biggest stars in the world about their masturbation fantasies through a miasma of ironised drivel I am grateful to the BBC for such a marvellous experience ‘slot’ (!!!) employer’s sexual reference . I would like to make it perfectly clear that no negotiations ever took place and that my decision is not financially motivated conscience is sterilised agent was jeered at The Ivy . I signed my current contract with the BBC having turned down more lucrative offers from other channels market a mysterious avenue of erotic fruit trees because it was where I wanted to be and - as I have said before - would happily have stayed there for any fee they cared to offer, but there were other considerations too many TV licences Mark Thompson and Charles Moore having ‘supper’ together . I love making my Friday night talk show, my Saturday morning radio show and the Film Programme myself laugh ‘cunnilongawonga’ , and will miss them all. I look forward to continuing work on these shows until the summer, and I will continue hosting the Bafta Film Awards, Comic Relief and other BBC specials regular teabreaks in my garden millions of cackling bacteria . Working at the BBC has been a tremendous privilege Hot Sauce Production deadpan rollercoaster , and I would like to thank everyone who has watched and listened so loyally over the last 13 years their gently inflating body mass and inyourendo .