Smugfuck the Nation This test will prepare you for The National IQ Trust, which will be machine-watched first on BBC 3, then aired later on BBC 2. Each Question has four possible answers: A, B, C or D. There is a time limit. Please be patient. It may take a while for you to be clever enough to watch BBC 4, which is why for the time being we're keeping things simple, shouty and larky. First, please tell us a little bit about yourself.
Smugfuck the Nation
This test will prepare you for The National IQ Trust, which will be machine-watched first on BBC 3, then aired later on BBC 2. Each Question has four possible answers: A, B, C or D. There is a time limit. Please be patient. It may take a while for you to be clever enough to watch BBC 4, which is why for the time being we're keeping things simple, shouty and larky.
First, please tell us a little bit about yourself.
Gender A. male B. female C. amazing pet D. self-satisfied queer
Gender
A. male B. female C. amazing pet D. self-satisfied queer
Age A. young B. middle-aged C. analogtogenarian D. golden
Age
A. young B. middle-aged C. analogtogenarian D. golden
Where do you think you live? A. Albert Square B. Balamory C. somewhere gritty yet poignantly comic, in the North D. with Masai villagers, bouncing up and down in a BBC ident
Where do you think you live?
A. Albert Square B. Balamory C. somewhere gritty yet poignantly comic, in the North D. with Masai villagers, bouncing up and down in a BBC ident
How would you prefer to pay your TV licence fee? A. televised Lottery B. at Bargain Booze, formerly the Post Office C. painlessly extracted in one go with Art Malik as the anaesthetist D. lucrative advertising instead of expensive idents
How would you prefer to pay your TV licence fee?
A. televised Lottery B. at Bargain Booze, formerly the Post Office C. painlessly extracted in one go with Art Malik as the anaesthetist D. lucrative advertising instead of expensive idents
SHAPE PUZZLE! Why is BBC director general Mark Thompson making a 'claw' shape? A. Saying 'hello' to deaf viewers. B. Has commissioned fly-on-the-wall, animatronic documentary: Working With Dinosaurs. C. He's got Graham Norton. D. Not his hand. It's a prop from the new 'dark' Dr. Who.
SHAPE PUZZLE!
Why is BBC director general Mark Thompson making a 'claw' shape?
A. Saying 'hello' to deaf viewers. B. Has commissioned fly-on-the-wall, animatronic documentary: Working With Dinosaurs. C. He's got Graham Norton. D. Not his hand. It's a prop from the new 'dark' Dr. Who.
LOGIC! If there's a little burping 'Blobmate' on BBC 3, what comes next? A. Haughty gimp in swivel chair. B. Disingenuous cunt in a hired American car. C. Posh slag musing in the London Eye. D. Bulging turd presenting X-Rated Sporting Howlers.
LOGIC!
If there's a little burping 'Blobmate' on BBC 3, what comes next?
A. Haughty gimp in swivel chair. B. Disingenuous cunt in a hired American car. C. Posh slag musing in the London Eye. D. Bulging turd presenting X-Rated Sporting Howlers.
MATHS! Gary Lineker + a lioness and her cubs + Jonathan Ross = ? A. A great line-up of talent and culture. B. Prison TV. C. African Awareness Awards. D. If lioness savages Jonathan Ross, something for everyone.
MATHS!
Gary Lineker + a lioness and her cubs + Jonathan Ross = ?
A. A great line-up of talent and culture. B. Prison TV. C. African Awareness Awards. D. If lioness savages Jonathan Ross, something for everyone.
WORD PUZZLE! Books are wicked, aren't they? They keep our minds active and stop us 'dumbing down'. Which of these new book shows is coming soon to the BBC? A. Britain's Naughtiest Novels, with James Naughtie. B. Gaby Roslin's Lit Bits. C. Stephen Fry's Favourite Gay Passages. D. Loo Read!
WORD PUZZLE!
Books are wicked, aren't they? They keep our minds active and stop us 'dumbing down'. Which of these new book shows is coming soon to the BBC?
A. Britain's Naughtiest Novels, with James Naughtie. B. Gaby Roslin's Lit Bits. C. Stephen Fry's Favourite Gay Passages. D. Loo Read!
HISTORY! Complete this sequence: AJP Taylor...Tony Robinson...? A. Inquisitive cartoon child in wheelchair and his pet macaw, Macaulay. B. Ian Beale from EastEnders in a toga. C. List of important dates on the BBC interactive website. D. Stuart Maconie's beaten corpse, filleted and worn as a body suit by a mystery guest.
HISTORY!
Complete this sequence: AJP Taylor...Tony Robinson...?
A. Inquisitive cartoon child in wheelchair and his pet macaw, Macaulay. B. Ian Beale from EastEnders in a toga. C. List of important dates on the BBC interactive website. D. Stuart Maconie's beaten corpse, filleted and worn as a body suit by a mystery guest.
